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#441 gazza

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Posted 14 December 2012 - 08:10 PM

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Quickly read this post before it is deleted or i turn grey again

Gary

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#442 gazza

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Posted 28 March 2013 - 08:36 PM

What do you call an inform Australian batsman .................... retired
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#443 gazza

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Posted 01 May 2013 - 06:32 PM

And yes, she was Asian .......

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#444 gazza

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Posted 14 December 2013 - 06:38 AM

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Gary

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#445 gazza

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Posted 28 May 2014 - 06:03 AM

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag.

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do lawyers use for birth control?
Their personalities..

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
20 kgs.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes.

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in Grade 9.
Who has the biggest boobs?

The blonde, because she's 18.....

What's the difference between a porcupine and a Ferrari?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? 'Are you sure it's mine?'

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment

What's the difference between an Australian zoo and an English zoo?
An Australian zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe.

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F..... Word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What's the difference between a northern USA fairytale and a southern USA fairytale?





A Northern fairytale begins 'Once upon a time.'
A southern fairytale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shiiit'.

Why is there no Disneyland in China ?





No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.
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Gary

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#446 gazza

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Posted 12 June 2014 - 08:39 PM

For those that enjoyed the morning run along Newbridge Rd today, here's the reason .............

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#447 oldslot

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Posted 13 June 2014 - 10:00 AM

its just resting Gazza

#448 Ontheflipside

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Posted 13 June 2014 - 11:23 AM

Truckies! Don't ya just luvem
I can't believe that I wanted to grow up

Mount Salt Panorama Track Combined Road and Rally Track built near Salt Pan Creek Padstow - Sydney

A quick build rally track

2017 WRP Round 11 at Mt Salt Panorama

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#449 aussieslotter

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Posted 13 June 2014 - 01:11 PM

I see the Crummydore came off first best :)

#450 shadow_rusty

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Posted 13 June 2014 - 01:19 PM

Looks like the worker in the middle is taking a selfie...
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#451 teamredracing

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Posted 13 June 2014 - 04:16 PM

No , he's just realised that gazza was across the road and there was a good chance the way he drives that he may have cause it :o ;) :D . By the way Rick , thats what happens when you push in on a Holden :rolleyes: :lol: .
Craig

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#452 gazza

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Posted 15 June 2014 - 09:00 AM

Via Mel ........


The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death.




A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time....




I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin, 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it. I thought to myself, they've lost the plot!!




My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were $70!!! Blow this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.




I was at an ATM yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.




I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.




I was driving this morning when I saw an NRMA van parked up. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself that guy's heading for a breakdown.




My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that, 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.




Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador .” Sod that" says Mick "have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"




I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she was poor - she only had $2.20 in her purse.




I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor standing at the foot of my bed. At first I was afraid.......then I was petrified.




A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheelchair.




I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said,I would like to come back as a cow. I said you’re obviously not listening.




The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.




The wife was counting all the 5 cents and 10 cents out on the kitchen table when she suddenly got very angry and started shouting and crying for no reason. I thought to myself, "She's going through the change."




When I was in the pub I heard a couple of plonkas saying that they wouldn't feel safe on an aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman. What a pair of sexist pigs. I mean, it's not as if she'd have to reverse the bloomin thing




Local Police hunting the 'knitting needle nutter’, who has stabbed six people in the village in the last 48 hours, believe the attacker could be following some kind of pattern.




Bought some 'rocket salad' yesterday but it went off before I could eat it!




A teddy bear is working on a building site. He goes for a tea break and when he returns he notices his pick has been stolen. The bear is angry and reports the theft to the foreman. The foreman grins at the bear and says "Oh, I forgot to tell you, today's the day the teddy bears have their picks nicked



Just got back from my mate's funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service.


Quickly read this post before it is deleted or i turn grey again

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