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gazza

Oooops

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Eno,

 

Sounds about right, i remember something along those lines as well, either that or we are both going mad!!!!!!!!

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Eno,

 

Sounds about right, i remember something along those lines as well, either that or we are both going mad!!!!!!!!

 

I'm pretty certain it took them a few days to figure out how to get the car back up the stairs..

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weird983b.jpg

 

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Only 9 points for that one

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Bullseye

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How Ute's are made

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This accident happened in Istanbul, Turkey. Both drivers were women and they weren't sure exactly how the accident occurred.

Edited by gazza

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weird968.jpg

 

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LostMyJobToday5.jpg

 

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Mating2.jpg

 

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Nosedive.jpg

 

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Isn't a great country we live in when we have to post instructions on how to use the sh#ter

 

1cb46995.jpg

 

This was in a Aust Post crapper

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Isn't a great country we live in when we have to post instructions on how to use the sh#ter

 

pics deleted to save downloading the same ones again again and again

 

This was in a Aust Post crapper

 

I think that sign may be for the benefit of more recent arrivals to this wide brown land, they may have some ablutionary habits slightly different to what is the norm here. :)

LB

Edited by lenny broke

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Ssangyong_Rodius.jpg

 

Am I doing it right?

?

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Mating2.jpg

 

Hey! are we allowed to put these types of pics on the forum Don't forget this is the HOLY weekend :mosh: Ah! Isn't love grand. Couldn't see anything wrong with the container pics as I thought this was the way we got them off down at the wharves :aussie: :lol: .

Edited by teamredracing

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Ssangyong_Rodius.jpg

 

Am I doing it right?

?

 

The design of that vehicle alone puts it in the Oooops category!

 

Embs

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Isn't a great country we live in when we have to post instructions on how to use the sh#ter

 

 

 

This was in a Aust Post crapper

What were you posting?

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New 100% recycled toilet paper and dispenser ......

 

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I havent laughed so much in years :yellowbounce: :purplebounce: :lbluebounce:

 

 

I went to Bunnings recently while not being altogether sure that course of action

was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a

massive quantity of my patented 'you're definitely going to s**t yourself'

road-kill chilli. Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being painful, which

comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat it, the next day both of

your butt cheeks WILL fall off.

 

Here's the thing. I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened. No 'Watson's Movement 2'. Despite habanera P*pp*rs swimming their way through my intestinal tract, I was unable to create the usual morning symphony referred to by my dear wife as 'thunder and lightning'.

 

 

Knowing that a time of reckoning HAD to come, yet not sure of just when, I bravely set off for Bunnings, my quest being paint and supplies to refinish the den.

Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart and began

pushing it about dropping items in for purchase. It wasn't until I was at the

opposite end of the store from the restrooms that the pain hit me.

 

 

Oh, don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm referring to that 'Uh, Oh, s#!t, gotta go' pain that always seems to hit us at the wrong time..

The thing is, this pain was different. The habaneras in the chilli from the

night before were staging a revolt.

 

In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small intestines, forcing their way into the large intestines, and before I could take one step in the

direction of the restrooms which would bring sweet relief, it happened. The

P*pp*rs fired a warning shot.

 

 

There I stood, alone in the paint and stain section, suddenly enveloped in a noxious

cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded. I was afraid to move

for fear that more of this vile odor might escape me.

 

Slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as a red aproned clerk turned the

corner and asked if I needed any help.

 

 

I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what his reaction would be to the malodorous effluvium that refused to dissipate.. Have you ever been torn in two

different directions emotionally? Here's what I mean, and I'm sure some of you

at least will be able to relate.

 

I could've warned that poor clerk, but didn't. I simply watched as he walked into an

invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odor so terrible that all he

could do before gathering his senses and running, was to stand there blinking

and waving his arms about his head as though trying to ward off angry bees.

This, of course, made me feel terrible, but then made me laugh. .......BIG

mistake!!!!!

 

 

Here's the thing. When you laugh, it's hard to keep things 'clamped down', if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an explosive issue burst forth from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun.

 

Suddenly things were no longer funny. 'It' was coming, and I raced off through the store towards the restrooms, laying down a cloud the whole way, praying that I'd make it before the grand mal assplosion took place.

 

 

Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began the inevitable 'Oh my God', floating above the toilet seat because my ass is burning SO BAD, purging. One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of 'Shock and Awe'. He made a gagging sound, and disgustedly said,

'Son-of-a-bitch!, did it smell that bad when you ate it?', then quickly left.

 

 

Once finished and I left the restroom, reacquired my partially filled cart intending

to carry on with my shopping when a store employee approached me and said, 'Sir,

you might want to step outside for a few minutes. It appears some prankster set

off a stink bomb in the store. The manager is going to run the vent fans on high

for a minute or two which ought to take care of the problem.'

 

 

My smirking of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me. The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover his nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, 'IT'S YOU!', then ran off returning moments later with the manager. I was unceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly not to return

 

Home again without my supplies, I realized that there was nothing to eat but leftover chilli, so I consumed two more bowls. The next day I went to shop atWoolies . I can't say anymore about that because we are in court over the whole matter.

 

 

Bastards claim they're going to have to repaint the store.

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